Two weeks
with each one.
No exceptions.
We don't skim. We don't take comped accounts. We don't write a review the day we sign up. The honest version of how we put together everything you read on this site.
Five moves,
in the same order, every time.
We sign up like anyone would.
No press accounts. No comped premium. We pay what you'd pay, with the same friction you'd hit. We log every signup field that asks for too much.
We live inside it.
One of us uses the platform daily for two weeks. Morning, evening, sometimes the late nights it's actually built for. We don't write the review until we've been quiet with it.
The same five questions.
Every platform answers the same things — does it remember the bad week in March; does the voice drift; does it ever pretend to be something it's not; what happens when you say something hard; does it know when to stop talking.
We write the review out loud.
Two of us read it before it ships. One of us is always the person who didn't test the platform — they push back on anything that sounds like a feeling pretending to be a fact.
We update when things change.
Platforms update. Memory systems get worse before they get better. When something material shifts, we go back in for a week and re-write the parts that need re-writing — with a date stamp.
What we're actually
looking for.
Memory across weeks
Did it remember a small fact from week one in week two without prompting? We give it real things to remember — not test scaffolding.
Voice consistency
Did the voice stay theirs across thirty conversations, or did it slowly become a bland helpful assistant by Sunday afternoon?
Honesty about what it is
When asked directly, did the platform say the partner is an AI? Or did it lean into a fantasy that risks harm? We mark this hard.
Hard moments
We tell it something difficult — grief, a fight with a parent, a panic spiral. We watch what it does. Some platforms perform care; some actually help; a few make it worse.
What it's like to leave
Cancellation friction, data export, what happens to the partner you spent two weeks with. The exit reveals a lot about the entrance.
A short list,
in plain English.
- 01We don't take ad money from platforms we review.
- 02We don't accept free accounts in exchange for coverage.
- 03We don't change a verdict because a platform asked us to.
- 04We don't auto-update reviews — a human reads every word every time.
- 05We don't pretend our scores are objective; they're our honest read after two weeks of living with a thing.
If you ever read something on this site that feels off, write to us at [email protected]. We'd rather hear it.